Lessons on Empathy from Sadie Chamberlain, a college senior playwright with disabilities.

Sadie Chamberlain, a talented Vermont native, wrote and stars in the original play called A Taste of Freedom, exploring life as a person with disabilities through the lens of imagination. This is an original play that delves into her personal experiences, exploring themes of imagination, identity, and the quest for freedom. The narrative focuses on how the protagonist navigates life, using creativity and imagination as tools for empowerment and expression. Sadie is a senior at Saint Michael’s College, majoring in Theater and Psychology, which she integrates into her creative work. Aside from her play, Sadie was also recognized as the Grand Prize Winner of Major League Baseball’s Breaking Barriers Essay Contest.

I saw this play and realized the story goes beyond a person with disabilities and addresses the struggles that most people face as they strive for personal meaning. I was so intrigued by the play that I asked Sadie to engage in a dialogue with me. I wanted to interview Sadie before she became so successful that I would not have the opportunity again.

Sadie began by stating that when she is out walking, and someone is behind her, it is obvious that she has some kind of injury. That injury is permanent. People often think that because of the way she walks, they conclude she is stupid. If she could take the time to explain…..

Look, I know I am not attractive by societies standards. People stop me and say “You are beautiful.” “I know I am beautiful, however, I know that I am beautiful in my own way.” As she was attempting to explain, Sadie referred to the Girls State Program. American Legion Auxiliary Green Mountain Girls State is a leadership development program for rising high school seniors. The focus of the program is Vermont town, county, and state government. Delegates are elected and appointed to offices within the Legislative, Executive, and Judicial Branches of government. Throughout the session, they work on the current issues that affect young people and citizens of the United States. This culminates in legislative sessions and simulated floor debates during the State House session.

While attending Girls State, Sadie was chosen to represent Vermont at Girls Nation, in DC. A person is chosen to go to Washington DC to represent their state. When the representatives from the states first meet they quickly become a friendly group, exchanging jokes and barbs about each state they are from. A group of girls formed around Sadie and pretty much asked, “why are you here.” She responded (with firm strength), “I am here to represent my state and my country.” She then met Civil Rights Icon (sarcasm) Mike Pence. “He gave what he thought was an inspiring speech and then he shook everyone’s hand while we were all sitting. I was in one of the last rows and we had to wait to leave. When I got up, Mr. Pence saw me and it was obvious he noticed my gate and came over. He stops and puts his hand on my shoulder. He then physically cups my hand and says, “thank you very much, you are so inspiring. You are going to go so far.” Sadie recognized how hollow those words were. She says it would have been better to acknowledge the disability that she has to overcome. She simply does not want to be patronized by someone who clearly did not support the community. She did all she could to not “stick it to the man,” as she did not want to ruin the event for others.

I then wanted to hear more about why she did not want to “stick it to the man.” Is it because she is compassionate, or hopeful? She responded that she really wants people to understand who she is. She referred to me by saying she does not necessarily know how to address a transgender woman and she genuinely wants to know. She would want the same from people who meet her. Each one of our experiences is different. Just because you know one person who has disabilities does not mean you know her. She really would take the time to compassionately answer questions about who she was. She knows some of the time people are simply patronizing her. Some people are also earnestly interested in understanding. However there are times when people patronize. Usually, she ignores that. However, occasionally she finds an opening.

She knows everyone has an opportunity to learn something and she fights the urge to “eye-roll them.” as she does not want to miss the opportunity for dailogue and understanding. It is also very difficult to explain to every person that comes along as to “why she walks that way.” She says it takes at least three minutes. Three minutes is the maximum amount of time before someone new will take to ask me why she walks differently. She starts with, “I have Cerebral Palsy.” She would explain that Cerebral palsy in adults is caused by brain damage that occurs before birth. It is a congenital condition that impacts her physical condition, not her ability to think or her intelligence.

I then shared with Sadie that this was a revelation to me. It would be much kinder for a person to take the time to explain to another person who they are and why they present themselves in such a way. That is a much better response than the eye-roll. Of course that assumes the other party is also willing to take the time to listen. She then proceeded to tell me the assumptions she was trying to avoid when she first met me as a transgender woman. She did not know how to address me. Of course, I do not make it easy for people because I assume they should know who I am and address me with the proper pronouns. I explained to Sadie that this was a revelation for me and my insensitivity. This lesson for me is that I will make it easier for people who I first meet.

She then said it is equally difficult to be genuinely curious as it is to be open. Both require courage. Sadie said that she can imagine when she walks into a room for an interview and people see her disability, they automatically assume she is not smart. She says she has to fight off the same assumptions when she meets someone who is different. The way to correct for this is to take the time to get to know the person. Sometimes you just don’t want to take the time; you are busy or simply do not want to make the effort. It is important, however. Curiosity is how you can balance power. Sadie remembers a person who refused to answer her curious questions and she realized that is how that person could maintain power. People in power may not take the time to be curious about others because of that power dynamic. Other people may have a lot to say and have some highly intelligent observations. This can be a threat to someone in power. Curiosity gives voice and power to the others.

Sadie’s view of the play is that it is a story of her “finding her gender.” It is about discovering who she is and how she fits in the world. She created the fictional Highlander character to allow her to be as creative as possible with the person inner person she was toying with. Sadie described her experiences growing up. She wore braces to help her with mobility through age 10. She attended Burke Barton Academy and Graded School through grade five. She had personalized instruction and there were a lot of people who treated her well. She was treated quite respectfully and she says that when you were raised with respect, you will not accept anything that falls short of that respect. Even though she had supportive parents, getting the validation that she was intelligent from outside the family reinforced her confidence.

This support was extremely important as a disabled person because she would occasionally have teachers who would scold her for not being like other children. One teacher’s scolding she will never forget were related to the random occurrences where Sadie would awkwardly trip over nothing. Sadie did not know why this was happening. Because of this happened with the teacher a number of times, the teacher called her “stupid” in front of her classmates. The teacher loved to call her stupid. Sadie heard her talking on the phone and saying how stupid Sadie was. Towards the end of one week when Sadie was having trouble walking, the teacher ordered Sadie in front of the class, grabbed Sadie by the collar, yanked her around to face the class, and stated, “don’t be like Sadie, she is slow and she is disrespectful.”

That same teacher told the elementary class that they needed to learn how to take notes. The teacher was moving along too fast for Sadie’s physical capacity to keep up. Sadie asked her to slow down a bit. That teacher told her, “no, you have to learn how to keep up.” The teacher kept her from recess one day and sent her home with a school chair because the teacher did not like how Sadie pushed it in with her disabled body.

Even though this is only one person, the memory is deep. The teacher’s insensitivity to Sadie at such a tender age was extremely cruel. Beyond that negative experience, Sadie progressed well. She appeared socially awkward and she struggled with spatial awareness and math. However, adults recognized her as being very articulate. In middle school she was treated quite well. She enjoyed her activities except for the occasional school trips, which were difficult for her. The pace and the jerking around of her body was difficult and painful for her. These trips were a struggle however she wanted to learn as much as she could.

She remembers one particpular trip. Each year, 8th graders celebrate graduating with a special trip. This excursion was one where the school was gifted a rafting trip. That was too much. Getting bounced around would be overly painful and she would be in a panic from the dangers she faced. Her always supportive twin sister Lauren said she would stay behind as well. Other teachers pushed Lauren to go and not stay behind with Sadie. Lauren refused to back down.

They went on their own trip. Sadie knew there was money on the line. However there were others who had disabilities who were also not accomodated. This trip was not about inclusion. Sadie began to explain the genesis for her play. Since she was eight years old she has been explaining to people what Cerebral Palsy is. That vulnerability about herself has aged her in a mostly positive way. However at a point later in life, she became overwhelmed.

This play comes from a “very exhausted young person.” People ask her how she could have come up with something so creative? She was angry and “ready to pop. Ready to punch someone. She needed to do something with her frustration at this low point, so she wrote the play. The play came from a lot of fatigue. She was working with “the lovely Bess O’brien.” Bess is a noted playwright and film maker in Vermont. She was exhausted from working so hard and so many hours. She was not Sadie, she was this “bag of flesh.” She was not even human, just a walking manifestation of this disabled body. It was a new level she had not experienced before. Sadie wanted to be a performer and was just working too hard. However, the joy of performing was worthwhile to Sadie. She want to, and expects to work hard when given the privilege to perform.

When Sadie was little and she discovered her singing voice. She used to imagine that she could sing so beautifully that people would not notice her disability. You would be so transfixed by her voice that even though the disability was there, you could not think about it. That is where the idea for the Siren came from. She did not want to be a princess, or a damsel in distress. She knew what she wanted and was going for a strong woman.

She was sitting in her dormitory and was so tired. She began to sing classical music to cope. It was the first time she sat down in six hours. She started to visualize this beautiful Celtic landscape where she was sitting in a pretty white dress. She is sitting by a river and singing. She notices this really handsome guy, so pretty, just listening to her voice. He wasn’t from her time, he was from a different time. She got up and walked toward him. She swayed her hips and flirted. She talked in metaphor. She did not hide her disability, because there was no negative culture there. It was not necessary to hide. There she was a real person, with all the rights to person hood. Why would she want to rob someone of that very important part of herself? Who she is, and how she lives in the world?

The reason the SIren existed is so Sadie can see herself knowing she did not experience symptoms of cerebral palsy. Because the SIren does not have restrictions, it is easy for the Siren to talk in metaphors about disability.

This man did not have a need to know this information. He is attracted to the beauty of her voice. This was so freeing for her, “like taking off a heavy backpack.” She could be who she really is. The Siren is definitely a part of her. With him she could be this witty person, this woman of the world, this beautiful singer and not have these neurological hang-ups that are part of our world.

One of the points of the play is that you cannot really be completely happy with something that gets in the way. She is very proud of the woman she is, however her definition of femininity had to evolve and change. Meanwhile, she sometimes feels like she is being shadowed by a dark cloud, “really, you made a woman like this? Look at the way I am holding my hands right now. I have gashes in the tips of my shoes because of how I walk. I have a lazy eye. I can’t move my hips. All that, yet, I am very proud to be a disabled woman.”

Sadie went on to say, “I think there is a huge difference between frustration and anger. Is it frustrating? Yes, absolutely. Does it anger me? No. It hasn’t in a long time. Every time I get frustrated, I almost get happy. Not in the literal sense. I look at that frustration as an opportunity to grow and expand. I put it in my pocket and can use it in my next monologue, or my next assignment, or the next conflict I have with someone where it can give me more empathy because I can imagine how frustrated they must be. It all comes together to make me who I am. How dare I say it bugs me! It would be like putting my middle finger to the universe. I think everyone was designed with intention and I was designed to live with Cerebral Palsy. This is who I was meant to be. People ask me all the time, “do you wish you were born differently? I answer back with, “do you wish you were born differently?”

Sadie says when people think she should be born differently that they are really asking that about themselves. Does she get still get occasionally frustrated with her symptoms. Yes, however she reminds herself how grateful she is that she gets to wake up every day as Sadie. She is proud that she turned something challenging into something beautiful. Sadie says, “when you accept your identity, you become self-aware. Once you are self-aware, you are interested in seeing the best of you and, you should see the best in you. Being self- aware as a disabled person means acknowledging that there will always be physical challenges. Fully taking that on as a part of your identity actually makes it easier to live a full life outside of your disability. If I wanted to make life easy and live within the bounds of my disability I could not be the person I am now. I could take a reduced course load, not participate in my vocal activities. All these would be valid and accepted. However, for me, I have to constantly tease the undeveloped part of my brain in order to live fully.”

I asked Sadie why are people threatened by your disability? She responded that, “people outside of my situation might believe that the extra cushy care she receives is unjust. She knows that there is nothing cushy about being in a marginalized community.” She referred to a situation where she was getting typing help and a person mentioned that she should not get special treatment. She responded that she was not getting special treatment. She was getting what she needed to learn what she had to learn.

Accommodations are not about special treatment. They are about providing the person with what they need to participate equally in what is happening. She appreciates that her theater accommodates her through their choreography. It allows her to dance. Yes, the accommodations are extra work. But why not? She knows she has to work harder, but what is wrong with including everyone? Those that are threatened are really threatened about the idea of including others. This accommodation is an acknowledgment that skills and intelligence does not come from physical prowess. For some, their skills do come from physical prowess. That is fine if that is who you truly are. For some, they are threatened by the redefinition of what an intelligent person is, what a physically capable person is, or what a competent person is. It is becoming more nuanced.

Sadie says the more she can be accommodated, the more she can control her own narrative. Some people do not like that. She is willing to take the time and have conversations with people to help them understand. People can assume that “the lights are not on” when they see her for the first time. Having those discussions with people before they form their assumptions is her way of controlling the narrative. Everyone, regardless of their ability, deserves that. Sadie went on to say, “when someone is frustrated that I am moving too slow for them and I have the time. I take the time to explain the full details of how Cerebral Palsy affects my movement. I get to control the narrative before their imagination takes over.” It is situational. When she has a public safety officer come up to her because they think she is under the influence, she simply responds she is okay. However, children, and sometimes along with their parents are quite interested. The parents will sometimes try to distract the child, however Sadie seizes the moment. Parent and child are often genuinely appreciative. Why would you rob someone the opportunity to grow? It helps to eliminate bias and also shows that curiosity is not upsetting and can be rewarding.

This was the end of the interview. For me, this interview goes beyond the discussion of disability. I have learned that most people are running around with some level of disability, Most of the time it is not visible because it is in the mind. The lessons from Sadie can be applied universally. I found this interview to be incredibly illuminating. If you get a chance to see Sadie’s play, A Taste of Freedom, I can guarantee you will be moved.